A2Z Challenge: E is for Every breath you take

Every breath you take and every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you
Every single day and every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you
Though the song totally sounds creepy, doesn't this really sum up our lives as mothers. Also because of the similarity in the E and I sound I chose to go with this song instead of any other Hindi song.
So back to the topic.
Mothers are by default negative creatures, I feel. I look at my
daughter and think of ways in which she will mess up her life because she doesn't fold her clothes exactly the way they had been folded when they were sold to us. I see my son jumping and prancing on the sofa and nod my head in utter distress thinking about his future in which I see him as a street dancer. It takes special effort for me to dispel such negative thoughts and remind myself that they are just children doing children-y things.
That she will learn to pick after herself, fold the laundry and maybe back cupcakes that she has been meaning to bake since day 1 of the lockdown and that he will probably turn his energies into becoming a cricketer or a soldier. 
I am tempted to check my daughter's phone (which she thinks is password protected  by the way! *smirk smirk*), I am tempted to linger for five minutes more after handing her the device, outside the room when a friend telephones and by God I am tempted (pre & I am sure will be post the lockdown) to go down to play with her bunch of friends in the evening just to know what are her chums up to. In fact, because the children are in the house I am liking it more because they are with me. Mind you, not under my nose or anything but simply with me, in the house, where I know they are absolutely safe. I know that here no one can say or do something to them which I can't heal. The opposite scenario, when they are out in the big, bad world has given me sleepless nights. Yes, if you have read so far you can now label me as  a psycho mom. But in my defence I was not much aware of such protective feelings before the Taj blasts so maybe we can blame Kasab and party.
I know my mother still worries about me. Not just about my health (I think she might have given up on that one after my lackadaisical attitude over the years) but about my mental health, physical health, my interactions with friends and family, my relationship with my kids and so on and so forth.  
Now she rarely gives voice to her concerns because I would often make fun of her worrisome nature often but as my own children grow and spend more and more time out of the house and away from me, I think it is payback time and so
Every single day and every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you

Comments

Rethink Mindful said…
How adorable. The pics you shared here are all very cute. I loved the pic you holding your baby. And what a beautiful beginning of the post! Absolutely loved it.
anupriya said…
/such a beautiful and heartfelt post. As a mother I could relate to each and every word you have written. It's like one addition sum done wrong extrapolates into my son not growing up to be capable of taking up science when he grows up. And the likes. Absolutely loved your post.
Loved this post...you have summed up a mother's apprehensions so well...arent we all anxious when it comes to our children

Popular posts from this blog

A Decade of Motherhood: Give in

To, The Enablers

This Pujo, things feel different