MellowDrama

I have always known that the respect in any relationship matters utmost. There are other things like being seen and heard that are mandatory for a relationship to thrive but here are some ways I have realised to see it in simpler tangible things. Whatever the nature of relationship might be- romantic or platonic.  1. It should make you feel good about yourself. Very important. Non negotiable. Absolutely. 2. Also I don't think there is an accusatory tone in a healthy relationship 3. I think it should give you aspiration, some inspiration and not hold you back from wanting and expressing what you think you are Some seriously good stuff from The Angry Therapist 1. Healthy feels like safety  2. You having the ability to express yourself and nothing is taken away. There are no consequences. 3. Held not grabbed 4. Supportive, encouraging and CHAMPIONING your story 5. Helps connect you to yourself 6. It should not hold you back from wanting something because you should be able to want wha

 To be loved means to be seen as existing.  My friend Ruchi had shared a clip from Thich Nhat Hanh's interview being conducted by Oprah Winfrey in which I heard these words for the first time. It was a couple of years ago.  As soon as I heard him say this my whole world sort of lit up.  I have always struggled with the idea of love. I have never found a satisfactory answer from people who claim or who I have known to be in love. I have had this conversation with Ruchi also and I don't know if this in any way contributed to her sending me this particular message but despite our discussions on purpose, authenticity, love, karma- I have my doubts. Well, anyway. So back to love. I think I was set on this search for meaning of love, quite unwittingly by my younger sister. We were small kids in a village in Himachal Pradesh living the life that could only be imagined via Blyton's books. One day after being scolded by either of the parents she went on to stand on the extended ledg

You know how it is when you open social media and sort of in a moment when you are to being mindful begin to feel sorry for yourself. You get into a rut and keep lamenting about things that could have been. You keep thinking about how good things only seem to be happening to people who take snapshots and frame them for Facebook posts and Instagram feed. Maybe they do it for the Twitter and Tumblr and Snapchat and whatever else there is, what would I know, as I can barely handle those two. So to cut a long story short, lying in the bed till a few minutes ago I was lamenting the lack of holidays and holiday pictures as well parties and party pictures and cursing my luck how I never seem be able to do anything 'fun' and being stuck in this unenviable spot like forever since 1990s. then I began to think of the most momentous thing that has happened to mean the last 1 year and it was like opening the floodgates of memory. I began to realise how giving this whole year had been and

Suicides by two hugely popular public figures- Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain- within three days of each other. One a fashion designer and business woman par excellence and another a famous cook, TV personality. There have been many others before them. Though I knew just a thing or two about them the news about Robin William's suicide was heartbreaking for me. I remember thinking how could someone who laughed so much and made people laugh, do that. While there is so much being written in the social media about mental health in light of these two suicides I was stuck by a particular post in part on Ariana Huffington's Instagram feed. It is a Repost of a tweet by editor Elaine Welteroth and says: ..... And in your death we are reminded once again that there is simply no correlation between happiness and success. How true is that! We have no idea about what makes us happy. It is easy to confuse happiness with material things, isn't it? Getting a Kate Spade bag any da

Amusing it is how a father is often concerned with how the child will make the ends meet while the mother has sleepless nights pondering whether the child will forever able to meet her eye in the mirror. There must be stories of role reversal. I wish I had the resources to say to my children, "Go on. Live. Don't follow the masses. See the world. Witness the miracles that exist in a day." Wo kaun se log hote hain who know what they want to make of their life. How do they know it? Where do they get the strength to do what the heart wishes for?

The new year is already 6 days old. I haven't made a list of resolutions or I haven't done anything else yet that would have set these other 5 gone by days from the rest of the years since maybe 2007 or 08. The year that has gone by was spent waiting for the baby. In the meantime I came across gratitude as something of a magical force that could change lives. I was tagged in posts on FB to express gratitude, I got my sister to write a column in place and guess what was the chosen subject- gratitude and so on and so forth. So because gratitude has been making an appearance over and over again I decided to make a list of things I am grateful for. Mind you, I am not an ungrateful person, but this is taking things a plane higher. So without much ado, here are a few things for which I am immensely grateful. 1. I am grateful that little kids have a short memory span. In the last seven years that she has been around I too have had many a rough patches. I have often taken out