MellowDrama

I have always known that the respect in any relationship matters utmost. There are other things like being seen and heard that are mandatory for a relationship to thrive but here are some ways I have realised to see it in simpler tangible things. Whatever the nature of relationship might be- romantic or platonic.  1. It should make you feel good about yourself. Very important. Non negotiable. Absolutely. 2. Also I don't think there is an accusatory tone in a healthy relationship 3. I think it should give you aspiration, some inspiration and not hold you back from wanting and expressing what you think you are Some seriously good stuff from The Angry Therapist 1. Healthy feels like safety  2. You having the ability to express yourself and nothing is taken away. There are no consequences. 3. Held not grabbed 4. Supportive, encouraging and CHAMPIONING your story 5. Helps connect you to yourself 6. It should not hold you back from wanting something because you should be able to want wha

 To be loved means to be seen as existing.  My friend Ruchi had shared a clip from Thich Nhat Hanh's interview being conducted by Oprah Winfrey in which I heard these words for the first time. It was a couple of years ago.  As soon as I heard him say this my whole world sort of lit up.  I have always struggled with the idea of love. I have never found a satisfactory answer from people who claim or who I have known to be in love. I have had this conversation with Ruchi also and I don't know if this in any way contributed to her sending me this particular message but despite our discussions on purpose, authenticity, love, karma- I have my doubts. Well, anyway. So back to love. I think I was set on this search for meaning of love, quite unwittingly by my younger sister. We were small kids in a village in Himachal Pradesh living the life that could only be imagined via Blyton's books. One day after being scolded by either of the parents she went on to stand on the extended ledg

Chitrika Bhargava’s  Letters to Me and You  is a collection of poems dealing with the intricacies of love and loss. Though the love poems do make up the larger part of this book, there are a few letters here as well. The poems, like I said deal with love, loss and everything in between, the four letters (more like short notes) are written to different people from different stages in the author’s life (I presume)- an old love, a forever love, to a younger self by an older, wiser self. They send out a strong message in self-love, acceptance and moving on.  Though the themes are nothing new here- love, longing, desperation, hope and discovery of self- I think what Ms Bhargava does achieve with her book is a gradual maturity in her subject as well as its execution as the book progresses. The poems are divided into four sections- Ever mine, Remnants of Yo u, Me and You .  They all take a start from their respective titles, for example, I personally found resonance in some poems f

A book that will tug at your heart because of the subject that forms its crux and the way with which it has been dealt with. A light read that is not hollow and the writing which is Oh-so-perfect! ********************************************************** 'It Ends With Us' is a beautiful love story between a man and a woman and also between a mother and her child. The story takes place in Boston and the city plays an integral part in the novel.  Maine girl, Lucy Bloom, has a passion for gardening and hates her wife beater of a father. She meets a hunk on the day her father is buried and she has almost run away from his funeral after delivering a disastrous eulogy. He has all the qualities of an Mills and Boons hero plus Ryle Kincaid is a neurosurgeon. But it is the two different things that they both want which squish the chance of them being together. So after the first very dazzling meeting on a rooftop, they both meet each other after some six months when Lucy ha

Dear Dear Netra, I am writing this to you in the hope that it will bear witness to the immense love I feel for you but am not probably good at expressing. I don't love you like Papa does. For me you are not the perfect child as you are for him. I don't kiss you and smell you and hug you when you sleep like he does. I don't buy you everything that you put your finger on and I don't cry when you bruise your knees, arms, nose or cheeks. So what is my love all about? For beginners let me tell you that you hold the key to my soul. You are my very 'jaan', just like the 'jaan' that the magician had put in the parrot. You are my that parrot. I like any mother want you to turn out perfect. This roots from the fact that I can't and won't be able to bear anyone point a finger at you or raise their voice ever at you. This privilege lies with me exclusively. Your father also doesn't share it. This is not the perfect way to love but this is the on

After all the fairy tale drama that is ensuing in our life and honestly some of it before  (we- me and the daughter are very melodramatic people) there have been questions and often random statements by Netra that make me wonder how she must have concluded this one or that one. Like when she said very matter-of-factly  Love to bhoot hota hai (Love is a ghost) or when the husband and I are arguing heatedly, she will coolly walk up to us and depending on her current favourite, threaten the other one, Main thunder ko bolun ki aapko le jaaye? (Should I tell thundering clouds to take you away for making such ruckus). She plays with the bottles- her nanhe bachhe - for hours together and can come back with an episode that happened to her in the previous school and ask for an explanation about being bullied or left out of a game in the neighbourhood. These are the ones that I particularly find hard to answer. Human behaviour is difficult to explain, no? But then maybe she can use some

i am not in love with you neither are you, i am told we are just bored and hence the attraction but then i dnt knw why i look at my phone a thousand times to see if you have dropped a message a call that i might have missed despite keeping it by my side all the while at nights i lie awake thinking what could have that meant that which you said while i was being a little inattentive i prod myself to discover meanings, in unsaid words i wait for you at places where there isn't a chance for you to show up you surprise me, i laugh the ring of which i like a lot you make me nervous, i check my reflection in the mirror and i smile i fall short of words in your presence a sigh is all that can escape from my heavy heart poor thing knows that we are just bored of our own lives and hence the attraction

An SMS in the morning tells me this week is being celebrated as Daughter Week. First of all the sweet message: Daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes and the objects of our most watchful love. Being a daughter did not really do a lot for my understanding as having one did. If Gods would not have had their way, I would have been blessed with two and would have been much better off. Having a daughter is a grace. They fill your days with their warmth. They snuggle up to you even when you are not at your cuddly best and even the most loving husbands would not want to hug you. Just open your arms to the daughter and she will tumble in to them, if you are lucky enough you might even get a few wet and sloppy kisses. My daughter, when she is flooded with love for me, creeps from behind and puts her arms around my neck or my legs whatever is easily accessible to her and there is no other thing in the world to compare it with. Being a daugh