I often get a feeling that i am the worst mum. the word ma is generally associated with qualities which somehow read patience, wisdom, calm, so on and so forth. i dnt think i have any one of these. there are many more in my head which i knw are nt my strengths but when i look at the mother bit in me, these three are the prominent ones i find missing in myself.
chunnu has become a motormouth and so naughty. largely all that she dooes brings on a smile. but there are days, hours and minutes, very often some looong seconds as well when her incessant chatr-patar nudges me to launch into tirades. things that i knw make no sense to her but often bring on a hurtful expression on her face. then i berate myself for being such a looser. for shouting at her. for running out of patience. for not knowing or not conjuring up a better way to deal with her. for not being calmer, warmer and wiser.for being the worst possible mother. for not loving her enough (maybe!)