MellowDrama

i wonder why there is nothing to write about any longer? where have i got stuck? i could write and write, there was so much that needed pondering over. that needed to be put in words. where has all that gone? i know i cant do much beyond writing. i am not skilled at anthing. i look at people around me- a talented bunch. some are good at imagining or visualising as it is called these days, some are good at selling things off, some are good at pontificatng and manking others feel guilty and do the work for them i wonder on seeing these people. i used to often think that i would be this silent person, i will rarely speak and when, once in a while i would open my mout only great words shall fall. but i found myself to be too gregarious to hold still and be silent. then once i thought i will become a fashion designer. i kept a notebook and copied patterns to it but eventually grasped that anywhere that i had to mark copying would not work, i would need originality to sustain. if this is wh

had the chai and samosa in the morning. held the meeting with subordinates late afternoon. entertained, smiled, gossiped, signed files, sent proposals, checkde teh websites, read all papers and cut out the clippings. committees launched, debates and some more discussions held. there are still a couple of hours that i need to spend in here. used to leaving the work place when there is no work, i am finding it difficult to stick to the dark blue executive chair which has surely been crafted for a burly officer. am i suffering from presentism? have already gotten used to the peons and have even created ruckus when my bell went unanswered for 5 minutes. i have noticed how whjat-could-have-been-efficient youngsters have turned in to fussy sarkari naukars, their mentality and their work both taking after the lineage of the breed called office babu. what will become of me?

koi good luck nikalein, gulak ko todein....dhan te nan, initially i could not decipher the song but when eventually i could it became the most endearing thing about the movie Kaminey. I went to watch Kaminey in a theatre- a luxury by my standards for people who can spare the time to step out of doors to watch a film on the 70 mm screen- because i had heard a lot about vishal bhardwaj and his cinema and i havent seen any of his films, the only exception being Makdee, which i liked a lot for its content, treatment and music. I had heard good things about omkara and maqbool from friends and excellent things about the blue umbrella on the tv. Kaminey is the story of identical brothers Guddu and Charlie. Guddu stutters and Charlie lisps 'main f ko f bolta hun'.  There is comedy and there is the dark side but the thing that i liked in the whole movie was the imagery and one liners like 'paifa kamane ke do raafte hain. ek fotkut aur doofra chota fotkut' 'kaali billi rast

listening to music is the best thing that i can think of you can do with your free time. and i am going to crib how i missed tina sani's live in concert. so if you can;t give me a patient hearing you might as well log off. i have grown up listening to 'Anokha Ladla' and then she was to perfrom in Tagore Theatre last Friday. I could have gone to hear her and this time would have been given A class treatment by the manager et al. But i did not. and why? one i had no company, but thats a lame one. i know i could have and should have gone by myself. now for the truth. i did not want to be away from Chunnu after leaving her for the entire day in the creche and more than that S would have never have forgiven me for leaving her in the care of someone else. so for once when i had everything in place i did not do what my heart so badly wanted and i am not able to justify it with what so ever excuses.

would you believe it, if i told you that i haver started to work again. i had thought that at least fro about four years i would not want to work. i don't really know what has brought me back. is it boredom? need of respite from the mundane routine of cooking and cleaning the house? the need to get out of doors and meet people? an attempt at value-addition? but whatever, i am liking it as i have always. i like to work. i have deciphered that it really doesnt matter whether i sub stories or design a magazine.. well no it does matter, i dont ever want to sub again. with all due respect to the subs of the whole world, it is pathetic work. i know all work is thankless but subnbing is the most, the greatest of all the thankless jobs in the world. so where was i? haan it doesnt really matter what i do like for example who would have thought that i would jump on to the sarkari bandwagon some day but here i am. it is not very different from what we do in other places. we work some, smile s