MellowDrama

would you believe it, if i told you that i haver started to work again. i had thought that at least fro about four years i would not want to work. i don't really know what has brought me back. is it boredom? need of respite from the mundane routine of cooking and cleaning the house? the need to get out of doors and meet people? an attempt at value-addition? but whatever, i am liking it as i have always. i like to work. i have deciphered that it really doesnt matter whether i sub stories or design a magazine.. well no it does matter, i dont ever want to sub again. with all due respect to the subs of the whole world, it is pathetic work. i know all work is thankless but subnbing is the most, the greatest of all the thankless jobs in the world. so where was i? haan it doesnt really matter what i do like for example who would have thought that i would jump on to the sarkari bandwagon some day but here i am. it is not very different from what we do in other places. we work some, smile s

the swayamvar has ended. rakhi has chosen to marry elesh (i know i am a genius. i always know, weeks in advance, as to what is going to happen in a particular tv serial. ) but what might have solved so many of rakhi's problem has created a new one for me. now i cant figure out how to splurge an hour of that time- from 9 pm to 10- that was so taken by rakhi's swaymvar. there are a zillion sad options on the tv but all of them require some partial use of brains. nothing is on which i can just watch like a zombie and even if interrupted by my daughter's antics then get back to it without the feeling of having missed out on anything. i am also asking myslef like any sensible person would that why am i splurging my time like this. why do i need to be entertained mindlessly when i can pick up a book, plan the next day's menu and chop vegetables, spend some quality time with s. i would have thought of an answer but it seems that the swayamvar has dulled me so much that i would

there is this ad on tv for a mango drink where they show a guy obsessed with mangoes. so much so that he even is wearing a shirt with full blown mangoe print. man do i love the sound of that ad. i mean i so identify with tis mango freak. summers begin and i begin to ask S 'aam kab aayenge?'knowing too well that nothing would come of it before the downpour. this season was a little disappointment because the crop hasn't been well. though the dushehris did not disappoint yet my personal favourite langda was hard to be found. the ones that i could find were small in size and it would take a couple of them in one go to satiate my greed for the fruit. why mangoes are such favourites? there are some oh-so-sweet memories associated with the fruit. one is a childhood memory of palampuriya rains and rushing from school to gran's home for a treat of chusne wale aam. there would be this huge bucket of mangoes that had been soaked for a long time, waiting to be devoured. i still ca

i joined a yoga camp. i am still reeling under the enormity of the truth. i have joined a yoga camp and quite liked it. sri sri yoga. i who considered myself as the most doubting creature as far as this yoga and well being thing is considered. i who laughed at people who make flapping noises while breathe in and out and i who raised an eyebrow at anything 'Jai Ho', i joined a yoga camp. for the next five days i shall be getting up at about 4.30 am......the one in the morning. walk a kilometer to Moti Ram Arya school in sec 27 and spend the next 2 hours learning to breathe. why i joined this camp? i knw i have weighty issues but guess what this is not the reason why i am going to give up my beloved sleep. i coaxed myself in to joining this because i sensed the need for a guru. a person who can guide me to become aware of my body and my self. i find myself in a confused state so often that it is becoming a habit. i need to resolve my doubts and burn a few calories on the way to b

I was thinking that all the reality shows on our indian tv are take offs from international shows but tis one is truly ours. rakhi ka swayamvar- there has nt been anything like this on any tv channel of any country ever before but i do think that paris hilton can copy it and do it for the pleasure of tv viewers all over. wonder how the promos will run? i am tired of having affair after affair. now your very own paris wants to marry and settle. let the child in her splurge and enjoy some more.

there are many waays to kneel and kiss the ground. i have been often told that there is so much in my life for which i should be greatful to god so i thought that today i will kneel. 1. for being born in palampur and enjoying peace, love and nature that are inherent to the surroundings of my city beautiful 2. for meeji. she is the most benevolent, caring, not-so-gentle, loving, accomplished and prettiest grandmother that ever lived on this planet 3. for my pest sister who is a shoulder i have leaned and cried on, my sounding board, and all the things that sisters are meant for 4. for all those who have taught me to read and write- teachers, parents and relatives. i would not have known the joy that comes to me while i do these things had it not for them 5.for my lovely hair- straight and black 6. for my sense of humour 7. for different people who came in my life when i needed guidance and love 8. for my well functioning body parts that have served me well for these 28

i am loving it. it is totally mindless. can do with flickering attention. u can close your eyes and wouldnt have missed a thing. but the romance that is oozing out of the screen and the coy girl that rakhi plays...hats off. i mean i would nt have attributed grace to ms sawant but she has been graceful. i tink that all think that she doesn't have brains of her own but she can come up with some nice snubby comments for her 'hone wale pati' log. many ppl think it is stage managed but are at the same time wondering whom will she wed. i place my bet on elesh.

i am missing having a friend near by. the need to confide, to gossip, exchange woes, talk about infatuations and crushes, have someone to tell me things will get better. suggest ways and options. show me the path. share notes on books, the music. review the films. i think all the friends that last out after times of seperation are the friends that we need imminently in our lives. tenz is the fone a friend. we haven't seen each other since past 3 years or so and we rarely call but once we do and start talking about recently read books, new people in our lives- it is difficult to end the conversation. loveleen is the soup friend. she is warm and heals. harish is my all weather friend. he listens without interrupting to all my gharelu chik chik. he has never shied from pulling me up when i have been in doldrums. he is the friend whose presence is uplifting. There is a shield friend. the one who saves you from your own self via empathising and not sympathising. he doesn

a friend says that i am degenerating because i have stopped to write.I have always known, somehow, that i have to write. it is an essential need but i did not know how it was essential until he said to me that i should not stop to write and articulate. when he said this then i realised what my writing did for me. it helped me articulate my being. it helped me understand my self. i wrote diaries and kept journals not because i needed to recird the events of my life but because it made me get in touch with myself. the thing wise people say to look inside yourself- writing did that for me. then one day i lost myself trying to love another person. it was as if i wnated to blend in to this man so that there could not be two of us but just him. sounds very romantic and all but there was no such intent. it so happened because of the person i am. i tend to love whole heartedly. i get so influenced that i begin to speak the aame language as my love interest and forget myself, my family so very

You know it when the air in the rooms has a warmth to it. The light is just a shade mellower for you soul to feel comfortable in. The music that drifts around is of the song that plays in your head and heart. The comfort is not in the depth of the mattresses or the breadth of the sofa but an embrace. The high ceiling does not bar your ambition Instead that is where you hang your dreams to be picked and worked upon the next morn. The ordinary is my routine yet I find a newness to it Every time I walk back from the world in to my home

i need to bring so many changes about myself. i keep making mental notes of tings to do and keep forgetting them. i must start my day with prayers and meditation. i must drive else i wil forget. i must wear those lenses. i must sit down with myself. i must seek help to heal and give myself a new coat of paint. i mustlearn to control my temper and tongue and facial expressions. i must plaster a smile on to my face for ever. i must not raise my voice with chunnu.

are there times when there is noithing to say? the happiest times that i can think of are the times that i have spent in the company of people but not chit chatting or in serious discussions but looking out of the window, reading my book, listening to music on the headphones....not shattering silence. in the comfort of the knowledge that when my trance breaks and i smile to share the peace within i will be met with a smile conveying the same sentiment.

i worry a lot these days. about sub, chun, myself...actually everyone. i have always been sensitive but these days i hv gone two extra miles and worry like a maniac. that is to say everyday iam thinking of something to worry about the whole day. my fav topic these days is sub in hyderabad. two days back it was chun's potty but changing her multivits has done the trick. on nov 26 last week when mumbai was terrorised, i was suffering in chandigarh. i, for the first time understood, why those men are called terrorists. they had not terrorised that city but had struck terror and frightened me here, so many kilometers away. i latched all my doors, dropped curtains, locked myself in a room along with my daughter and clutched my phone. i wonder why i did not arm myself with some weapon. i think i was out of my wits. i have always wanted to write like ruskin bond, i mean the stuff that he writes about, the mundane, the daily activities but now i think that won't happen because those sw